We tried drugs, alcohol, tattoos, and heavy metal music, but they did not satisfy
We are Steve and Brittany Hudak,and this is our story
Steve’s story . . . .
I grew up Roman Catholic, attending mass at Christmas and Easter and a few other rare times during the year. I remember as a child going to confession and telling the priest all the bad things I had done. He would then tell me to say so many “Hail Marys” and “Our Fathers,” depending on how bad I had been. The Bible was nothing more than a showpiece on the table or bookshelf. I did not really know who Jesus was, other than a baby in the manger, a nativity scene piece to place under the Christmas tree.
Growing up I never heard the gospel. The only person who ever shared any religious beliefs with me was a Jehovah’s Witness. I looked at people who were religious as though they had a disease and I made fun of them.
All through my teen years I struggled with depression and was attracted to the “dark side.” At a very young age I started listening to Heavy Metal music and then progressed to Death Metal and Hard Core Rap. Many of these bands were claiming to have ties to the Devil and that is what attracted me to this music. I was very interested in Satanism and witchcraft and often thought about practicing them. The music helped to fill an emptiness and to provide a sense of spirituality. The music is spiritual – the problem is that it is not the spirit of God.
At the age of 14 I started drinking, and by the age of 19 I was drinking heavily every day. I lived for the parties and getting intoxicated, and strived to be the life of the party. The alcohol helped to fill the emptiness that I felt inside. I was really happy only when I was drinking. By the age of 24 I had become very hardened due to life’s course of events and so I got involved in illegal drugs and prescriptions drugs (antidepressants). Women, alcohol, and drugs became my heart’s desire. The problem was that these sins that I was committing only satisfied me for a very brief time, and when the emptiness returned I needed to go deeper into sin to fill the void. By the age of 27 I had hit rock bottom. I was tired of my life and my sin and really did not want to live any more.
“There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the ends thereof are the ways of death.” Proverbs 14:12 “The way of the transgressor is hard.” Proverbs 13:15
One night while watching a TV program, I heard the way of salvation. I was in a state of complete brokenness and helplessness. The Holy Spirit of God began to convict me of all my sins, flashing them before me. I sensed tremendous sorrow, knowing that my sin had put Jesus on the cross and He died a horrible death – for me. I could not com-prehend how God could love a vile sinner such as me. “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23) “But God commendeth (demonstrated) His love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)
The invitation was for sinners – and that was me. I cried out to God to save me, and praise God, He did! The Lord humbled me that night and showed me what a vile sinner I really was. I repented of my sins and asked the Lord to forgive me. I went from a state of unbelief to knowing God was alive, on the throne, and in complete control. “Whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” Romans 10:13
The next day I had a great desire to read the Word of God and to tell others about Jesus and why He came to this earth. I have experienced the greatest love that I have ever experienced in my life – the love of Jesus Christ. My thinking, goals, and desires immediately changed from the things of this world to eternal things. I now have a great desire to live a holy and surrendered life for Christ. My emptiness is now gone and my life transformed. “If any man be in Christ, he is a new creature; old things are passed away, behold, all things are become new.” I Corinthians 5:17
Brittany’s story . . .
When I was in high school I always wanted to fit in. Though I played soccer and ran track all four years and was acquainted with the “cool kids,” I never fit in with them because we did not have enough money to buy all the brand name clothes. So I started hanging out with the “head bangers” and smoking cigarettes at 16. I felt my mother was too strict with me, so I rebelled and often lied about where I was and who I was with.
After high school, I went to Art College in Philadelphia for four years. By this time I already had been drunk a few times, tried marijuana, and gotten some tattoos and piercings. I felt so lonely and empty and thought that I could get attention with my wild hair, piercings, and flirting with the boys. I always had to have a boyfriend.
Music was also a big part of my life. I could identify with what they were singing about: depression, breakups, different moods. Before I would play soccer and wanted to get pumped up, I would listen to Pantera or something hard. If I was depressed, I had slow music. If I needed a pick-up, I would listen to dance music.
I can remember getting really depressed and almost going to the doctor for medication. I kept thinking, “What is this life for? What is the point of life?” I would get drunk or high to not think about these things. I lived for the weekends to go to the clubs to meet boys and get as messed up as possible. When I was at the clubs I would forget about everything. The next day the depression and questions would all come back.
When I was at 27 I met my husband at work. He and a friend started witnessing to me and telling me about Jesus and how I needed to be “born again.” I believe that God was preparing my heart before this as I had already been reading some books about “the end times” which really got me thinking.
When I was younger, my family went to a United Methodist Church, but that is where we left Jesus; we never talked about him at home and the only praying we did was at meal times and bed time.
In 2002 I prayed a prayer and professed to be saved, but I was not willing to completely turn from my sin. My life did not change. Two years later I truly repented of all my sin, and put my complete faith and trust in Christ – He became my Saviour and my Lord. My life changed dramatically when I became a “Repenting Repenter” – one who daily comes to God confessing and forsaking sin and seeking to glorify Him. Since that day the emptiness I once felt is gone. I have a peace and love in my heart and a desire to read and study my Bible to know God’s will for my life. I still live with the consequences of the sinful life I lived – flashbacks, regrets, tattoos – but I am growing in the Lord and becoming more like the person He wants me to be. “Being confident of this very thing, that He which hath begun a good work in you, will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.” (Philippians 1:6)
I am no longer lonely or afraid to be alone – Jesus is always with me – a “friend who sticketh closer than a brother.” “I will never leave thee nor forsake thee.” Hebrews 13:5.