Nothing I tried could fill the void in my heart
My name is Luz Delgado, and this is my story.
In my childhood, I had various religious affiliations. When I was a baby, I was presented to the Lord at a Pentecostal church. I later attended Catechism classes with my sister for a couple years at a Catholic church. When I was 11 years old, my family moved to Puerto Rico, and I began attending the Pentecostal church with my grandmother. I was faithful in attending all the regular services, Saturday morning Bible Study, and any special services that the church had. I enjoyed going to church but did not like the rules and regulations they had.
One night, during the Youth Revival Week, I went to the altar during the invitation at the end of the service. I prayed a prayer, but my life did not change. Shortly after this, we moved back to the states, and I stopped going to church, because I could not find a similar church nearby. I soon went right back to my old way of living.
When I was in college, I started attending a group called Christian Fellowship, which was basically for Christian college students to get together and have a service every week on campus. It was fun and I enjoyed being a part of it, but I soon stopped going because I was too busy. I remember always feeling a void and thinking to myself that I should really go to church. During my senior year, I started visiting a Catholic church, but never really felt satisfied.
Soon I graduated, and then turned 21. All thoughts of church were put on the back burner and I began to party with my friends, going out to different clubs and bars. Deep down inside, I still felt a void in my life. When my sister began attending the Lehigh Valley Baptist Church, I was a bit bothered because I did not want to do the "church scene" again. Sometimes when she bugged me, I would go to church with her, but during the service I would play with my Bible or fidget around with anything handy, just so I did not have to pay attention. There were times when the preacher would say something interesting, and I would listen for awhile. But after about ten minutes, I would lose interest, and just sit there thinking, "I don't want to be here. Why did I even come?"
Then came the day that my sister got saved. (Note: saved, salvation, and born again are Biblical concepts referring to the forgiveness of sins by God and the rescue of a person from the power and penalty of that sin. This is God's requirement for everlasting life.) When she told me, I remember thinking, "I am not going through those rules and regulations again. I have been there and done that already!" I told my sister I was happy for her, but I was not interested. I even began to stay away from her, even though this meant I did not get to see my niece as often, because I did not want religion in my life. I did not want to give up wearing immodest clothing and going to the clubs with my boyfriend.
Soon I could not stand seeing my niece as often, so I started visiting my sister again just so I could be with her. My sister again asked me to go to church with her, but I told her that the services didn't really keep my attention, and I did not enjoy them. She tried to get me to agree to do a Bible study. Every time she tried to bring God or the Bible into our conversations, I would get so irritated! I remember telling my friend at work about it, and was shocked to hear her say, "Well, Luz, maybe you should start going to church and searching for God. There is nothing wrong with that." I quickly replied, "No, I am not going to church. So what if I go to hell!" As I look back on it now, I am so glad that my sister never gave up on me.
One Sunday I was talking to my mother on the phone. She began to tell me that she was not happy with her life and that sometimes she wished she had lived her life differently. She also said that there were things in her life that she regretted. This really bothered me, and made me start thinking about my life. I started to think about all the things I had done that were not right. Even though I seemed happy on the outside, I still had an empty void on the inside.
That night I decided to go to church with my sister, even though I really didn't want to. All through the service, it seemed as if the preacher was speaking directly to me. During the invitation at the end of the service, I was crying, but did not want to go forward. After the service, my sister talked to me, and I agreed to do a Bible study with the pastor's wife. All through the four-week Bible study, the Lord was convicting me of my sin. But there were some things in my life that I felt I needed to change. There were also people in my life that I did not want to let go of. So I chose not to get saved.
I remember my sister and her husband telling me that I should go to Sunday morning services, but I like to sleep late on Sunday morning, so I never went. But one Sunday morning, for some odd reason, I woke up early and could not fall back to sleep. So I decided to get ready and go to church with my sister. That morning, Pastor Hammett was preaching about hell and what it would be like. He said that forever we would be separated from those loved ones who were saved. All afternoon I thought about what he had said. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I did not want to go to hell. I spoke to my boyfriend about it, and he said, "You are not going to hell! Don't worry about it."
All week long, God was at work in my heart. I told my sister and brother-in-law I wanted to be saved, but there were some things in my life I wanted to change first. They told me that I did not need to change anything to be saved, because God would change me once I was saved. Ephesians 2:8-9 says, For by grace are ye saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God; not of works lest any man should boast. As I thought about that, I realized that no matter what I would do to try to change myself or make myself more pleasing to God, it could never be enough to please God, because I was doing it on my own. The Bible clearly teaches that salvation is not through our good works, but by repenting of sins and trusting Jesus Christ alone.
The next night, I called the pastor's wife and asked to talk to her. She sat down with me and showed me some verses. One of those verses was Romans 10:13, For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. That is what I wanted in my life. I knew I could not wait any longer. That night I repented of my sins and asked God to forgive me and to take control of my life. As soon as I did, I felt as if the weight was lifted off my shoulders.
The first couple of weeks after I received Christ, I was a bit depressed as I thought about some of the people and things that I had to give up. But as I prayed about it, I realized that I had gained so much more than I had given up. I now have a relationship with God, a new family of brothers and sisters in Christ, and a home in heaven. Before I was saved, I was always afraid of death, and never wanted to talk about it. I even told my grandmother once that I just wanted to live forever, right here on the earth. Now, the thought of death does not frighten me. One day shortly after I was saved, I was driving home from work. As I looked up at the sky, I reminded myself that one day I would die, but then I will be in heaven with my Savior. How about you, my friend? Do you know where you will be when you die? Take time to consider what Jesus Christ has done for you. You too can be saved.